The new-year has arrived and it's the time for itemized self-disgust. It also imply that within a month you leave your New Year's resolutions behind, and move on. You probably are bitten by the weight loss bug, quite like that Nigerian prince who was desperately trying to lose weight.
Dieting is much of an effort, and we are far too busy for that. Healthy food doesn't go down the throat easily as it's not topped with partially hydrogenitalized soybean-like oil product. If you are not a celebrity with a coterie of asparagus-waving personal trainers following everywhere then you most likely are a torrent of grease.
Nothing to feel dejected though because you can get lighter by eating a nutritious diet. Health eating is the way to go, and I must add that half an avocado a day is half the job done.
Owning a human body is same as dating an active-inactive control geek. : The various weight loss regimes promoted by the so called experts harp on the same thing – starving. Either you will be instructed to follow an all-carrots diet, or eat only cabbage.
Let's get down to checking out some of the crazy diets that are plain rubbish.
1. Ice Cube Diet : If you feel hungry try ice cubes, they'll suppress the craving. The experts force us to believe that ice cubes will melt-away the fat. You are in for a surprise, because nothing of that sort will happen
2. Facial Analysis Diet : An analyst examines your face and then suggests a diet plan that will nullify the nutrition deficiencies lying underneath your body. Looks cool! Claiming that by simply looking at the colored portion of your eye, one can find out your physical ailments is plain bull-shit.
3. Mammaries Meal Plan : Face reading is expensive because only Julliard-trained actors can figure out a dietary profile by simply looking at the face. One diet that is the craziest of all is the Mammaries Meal, a dairy-based plan, that is up for grabs, but you got to ensure that it's prepared from human breast milk.
It's an awesome fat reducing option for couples as she fights hard to produce enough milk to feed an adult while her partner survives on baby-size chunks of calories.
4. Blood Type Diet : This is ignorance at its peak levels. “Blood Type” sort of convinces people automatically that this diet regime has a scientific base. If you believe it's true then you also cannot call it a myth if a witch tells you which four elements describe your soul. I must admit that this time Peter D'Adamo, the Author, is on the wrong side of things.
5. Master Cleanse : You are to starve your body for 10 to 40 days and need to survive on diluted acids to get the feel of Master Cleanse diet. It's nothing but a perverted form of anorexia. Legally to call it healthy is like saying 'I am just joking.'
6. Cotton Ball Diet : If you like eating cotton balls it simply says that something weird is happening inside you. You are certainly a person having some kind of body dysmorphia otherwise why should a normal being like you fall for such strange idea.
If you need a couple of Alternatives eat:
7. Ear Goddman Stapling : Under this regime you end up with stapled ears and the immediate effect of this horrid operation is that your appetite for food is killed. You can call this fat loss technique a crude form of acupuncture that practices ''qi'' the natural energy.
8. Breatharianism : This diet regime looks like was built by a schizophrenic; you got to feel that food is some inferior thing that doesn't merit that it should be eaten. It's more of a spiritual leaning where you are supposed to starve yourself into a skeleton.
9. Weird Diets that I Created on My Own : This diet was created to mock the Master Cleanse. There are a hell lot of flavors in vinegar cider, white, balsamic; pick any and start binging.
10. Smell Food Diet : You merely put your face near piping hot foods and push in the aromas through the nostrils and feel happy about it.
11. Air Diet : It's a bizarre way of losing fat, you got to pretend that you are eating; put food on the plate, dig in the fork, take it to the mouth and hold, then catch the scents.